Sunday, July 31, 2011

Dare to Not Be Afraid

Recently, I've been traveling and it has helped me to learn something about myself. Somewhere along the way, I've become afraid of my body.

Now don't get me wrong. I love my body and I honestly have no shame about it, but I've become afraid to dress my body the way I used to. In the past year, my body has seen some changes. My breasts have gotten bigger and my thighs fuller. My waistline has stayed pretty consistent but that pouch that developed after eating takes a little longer to go away than it used to. What these changes have meant is that my clothes don't fit me the way they used to. Shirts are tighter in the chest and a lot of my dresses don't fit. Also my style has changed somewhat. I do prefer more simple and basic things and now when I buy clothes, I lean towards things like slouchy cardigans and soft, cotton t-shirts. But what this has resulted in is a lack of sexy in my closet.

While traveling in Montreal, I had a desire to check out the nightlife and what I immediately noticed was the proliferation of '06 dresses ™. An '06 dress (a phrase that was coined during my Class of '01 reunion in reference to the slightly younger class of '06) is one that is overly tight, overly short and/or low-cut and is accompanied by stilettos. I would never hate on an '06 dress because I've worn a few in my day, but the overwhelming amount of them created an anxiety I've never experienced before. And given that the club scene is 18+ in Montreal, I found I was comparing myself to girls nearly a decade younger than me. When did I become a Cathy comic strip?

What it really comes down to is fit and wearability. The reason those '06 dresses intimidated me is because my closet is full of clothes that don't fit correctly and/or make me uncomfortable. And when traveling in this day and age, packing a carry-on suitcase for two weeks that can range from Comic-Con to brunch dates to sight-seeing left me with very little options club wise. So the next step is to make some real changes in my wardrobe. Not just giving lip service to the term spring cleaning but actually doing it. If it doesn't fit right, it has to go. The next is working out, my way. I like to do activities but I've let work and apathy get in the way. Using my body, makes me confident in my skin no matter what I'm wearing. Finally, in the immortal words of Justin Timberlake "I'm bringing sexy back". It's time to add some spice back to my wardrobe. Maybe then I can copyright the phrase '01 dresses.